Final Day for the poll

Today is the last day for the poll and its looking like we aren't going to get 100% participation. I'm disappointed but I'm not defeated. I will continue writing this for myself and my cats and we'll be the ones who will truly enjoy it.

So far Anonymous, you have posted 3 comments to my blog but you still haven't taken my poll. I would just like to know why? I've been pouring my heart out and then I put the survey up so I could get to know you a little better and you've ignored it relentlessly.

So, I've given up on getting you to read 4 questions and then clicking your mouse twice to finish the survey. Instead, I now have just one plea for you...

WHY?

Is it because you don't like sandwiches at all? I included a choice for people who don't like sandwiches..."Taco". So if that's the case, just select the "Taco".

Anyway, I hope that helps and I hope we can still be friends after all of this. It has put a damper on our relationship, but if we're strong we can make it through this.

So, thanks for reading this. Have a great day!

Exellent News!

Product Development has developed a new line of Cat Toys. They're exactly the same as the other cat toys only these are white. They look great! They even have a warning label printed on them directed towards human children.

So we have plenty now so don't worry about us running out. At least for a few weeks that is.

We're also working on a couple of package deals. We're looking at giving discounts when you order the Cat Toy along with our other new product, the Cat Toy Removal Kit.

Here's the images for your visual aids. If you click them they'll get bigger.

The Cat Toy of All Cat Toys!	Cat Toy Removal Kit

Sorry the white cat toys are so new we haven't had time to get a photographer in to take the pictures. We will be posting the images once we have them. For now, just imagine the black one being all white with a warning label printed on it. That should give you the mental picture.

When you place your order just let us know what color you want. If you are also ordering the Cat Toy Removal kit, please be sure to specify what size your baby is. That part is very important.

And, there are still 2 days to take the survey. Don't delay. It can only help you.

Dick Cheney called

Dick Cheney called to tell me he's not planning on dropping a nuclear bomb on America. "oh yeah," I thought. "Like you're going to admit it."

And then I thought, hey, why'd he call me anyway? It must be my blog and all the waves it is causing for the Bush Administration. I'm sure he hates my blog and the fact that its named after the most liberal city in the most liberal state in the Country. That must make his blood boil. And then the fact that it highlights the world famous wind powered car probably pisses him off. He hates clean energy.

Obtw, the wall street journal had an article about how Cheney has gone cookoo! His friends don't know him anymore.

And Huffington Post had an article on George Bush and what he's going to do now that he's trapped. It's some really scary stuff. They talked about how he used to blow up frogs with firecrackers when he was a kid and how he's now blowing up people with the same amount of remorse.....none.

"'ya see." says George, "heh heh" (heh,heh is that horrible laugh he does where his shoulders shake up and down and he looks very please with himself), "God told me to do it. If God said it, it can't be wrong. heh heh."

I'm trying to learn how to imitate God's voice so I'm can tell George he should shoot himself in the head. heh heh.

Obtw, here's the link to the article since I'm sure you think I made all of this up.
http://www.911truth.org/article.php?story=2007072794211932


And here's an article on how the Bush Administration has subpoenaed Michael Moore for taking a trip to Cuba. Michael Moore says he's not going to show up because he's going to claim executive priviledge.
"Get Michael Moore and bring him to me"

And the Michael Vick controversy is heating up. Pamela Redmond Satran is on the side of Dog Haters!



I Hate Dogs: Does That Make Me Un-American?
by Pamela Redmond Satran

She wrote a whole article on it: Here's a Quote:

"Yes, okay, I said it. Come on, burn a big doggie biscuit on my lawn. Stone me the way you might a baby killer or a gay basher. "

She probably does kill babies and bash gays also. I'm afraid of her. She looks evil to me. Read the rest of the article if you dare:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-redmond-satran/i-hate-dogs-does-that-ma_b_58179.html

And here's a picture of a dog lover just before Pamela runs over her with her car. Just before it happened I saw the red head screaming something at Ms. Satran. I walked closer so I could get this picture and I heard her say...


'Why don't you just fuck off you Satan Bitch!' I think she thinks that Pamela's last name is Satan instead of Satran. That's an understandable mistake.

But anyway, honest mistake or not, Pamela really lost it. Or kinda, sorta lost it. I mean the grin on her face got bigger as she got into her Suburban, put it in gear, squealed the tires and rammed the red headed chick. The red headed chick ended up on the windshield, trying to break through the glass with her cardboard sign. She came off when Pamela hit the tree though.

So as you can see, it's really getting crazy. I hope this is over soon as it is tearing our country apart and emboldening Al-Quaida! Plus I don't think that the Falcons second string quarterback is very good.

Friday Blues

Well here we are. It's Friday and still not one response to the survey. I guess I'll just have to take it myself then, since it seems like me entire readership has become 0.

Anyway, I went to my porn job today. It was pretty fun. Tinkerbell got mad and screamed at boss2. He told boss2 that he had done all he could and that if people kept asking him questions about it he would get stressed out. And if he got stressed out he would quit.

That seemed to get boss2 off his back. He then got up and walked violently to the restroom, his boots ringing all the way. It was interesting that a stressful situation like that would be such a boon for angels waiting for their wings.

3 days left...Special Offer

Hello again. I want everyone to hear about my new special offer for my poll. If I get 100% response, all readers will be the first recipients of the cat toy I'm selling. Its an amazing deal, I know. But I feel very comfortable giving these away at first, because I know once a few people get them, word of mouth will be all I'll need to sell millions of them.

The offer is only good until the poll ends so take the dive, take those extra two clicks of the mouse and then email me prior to the poll closing time. There are only 3 days left so hurry!

_____________Todays Post_________________________

Well there is so much happening I'm not sure where to begin. We can talk about Alberto Gonzales and his continual lying to congress to protect our wonderful president. We can talk about how with Bush in power trampling the constitution and Gonzales, who is supposed to uphold the constitution, defending his right to trounce it, how that could end up destroying the foundation of our democracy and starting us down the path to losing our liberties, to being thrown in prison for dissent or for being poor, or gay, or catholic, or protestant and on and on. We can talk about how the Justice Department (that's where Gonzales works) refuses to enforce the contempt of congress citation given to Harriet and her friend. Yep, lots to talk about there.

We could talk about how Cheney is planning to strike in the US with a nuclear weapon sometime in August or September. (I think he makes them in his basement. That's why he wanted Google to blur his house out on Google maps.) Reed about it here:
Cheney goes nuclear!


We could talk about how the FBI is now recruiting thousands of informants (KGB) to first seek out enemies to the US, then once they've done that they'll concentrate on enemies of the Bush Administrations, then they'll start picking up people they don't like just for fun. Yep, we could talk about that.

Or why not talk about Bush finding a way to stay in power by declaring Marshal Law towards the end of his term. I think he'll probably rely on Cheney dropping a nuclear bomb on California, the bastien of godless liberals, for that one. Its been reported that Cheney is learning to fly.

But then there's Michael Vick. Atlanta Falcons quarterback who let some people stay at his house and kill dogs. Now he has to go to court and fight the charges right at the beginning of the season. It's outrageous and has totally polarized the nation. Dog lovers against dog haters, and the nation seems to be split 50/50 on this one. There are nearly 10 million people protesting at the courthouse and businesses have come to a standstill. Many businesses are remaining closed during this time to allow their employees time off to voice their concerns over this very important matter.

People even brought their dogs to protest as I'm sure the dogs themselves are quite upset over seeing their own kind killed as a sport. And then of course the dog haters are sneekily giving the protesting dogs poison dog treats. Its a melee. Cars are being burned, pet stores are being trashed and the Atlanta Falcons are having to rely on their second string quarterback.

So, with that said, I think it is Michael Vick we should talk about so please keep your comments on this post directed to the Michael Vick controversy. We need to keep this somewhat controlled or the huge amount of comments I'm sure to receive on this could overwhelm other commenters and make them confused.


_____End Post________________________

Thanks for reading this and don't forget to check out the cat toy in the Don't Ever Write About Your Cat's post. That should give you great incentive to answer the poll and get us that 100% participation.

My former life post1

Hello. I'm off my hunger strike and I've washed my hands of the survey. I guess if person doesn't want to take the survey I'll just have to go back to writing for myself and my cats. It's frustrating though. I was offering a great service for a simple mouse click or 2.

Anyway, I've been thinking about the leadup to my being downsized from a major fortune 100 company. So I went back to read the types of things I was writing then and decided I should post some of them so you can read about the glory days.

_________________________________
7-12-04
Sorry I haven’t written for a while. Sophia(my female co-worker) got laid off and now BSJ(my female boss) has a team of one. Me. She also 3 new contractors. One contractor alone makes more than Sophia. But Sophia was laid off to cut costs. It makes my brain hurt.

So I’ve been in deep depression. I even thought about going back to school. See. I don’t like the contractors. Dasari is an Indian or Pakistani, I’m not sure which. He has huge lips and is a know-it-all but doesn’t know anything. He’s afraid of me. He’s always positive. He told me that ADP seemed like a great place to work because everyone is friendly and happy. I told him it was a "..hell-hole and the only reason everyone seems so happy is because they’ve all snapped!". He wasn’t sure what to say to that. The next day Sophia got laid off. I saw him in the hall and said ‘See!’. He gave me a nervous smile and walked by close to the wall.

The 2nd contractor is Min-de. She’s oriental. She doesn’t speak English. At least not English that anyone can understand. BSJ thinks she’s great! Lara asked me if Min-de does anything. I told her I didn’t know. She then told me she heard Min-de talking on the phone for 2 days right after Sophia left. She was talking in Chinese. Lara and I thought it weird since we don’t have any Chinese speaking clients and the Chinese employees we know wouldn’t be part of Min-de’s necessary contacts. Min-de spent about 2 hours with Lara learning about our new parts salvage project. Lara explained many aspects of the business to Min-de. Min-de took no notes. Lara told me about this and was concerned. I told her that Min-de seemed very sharp with a computer, but it would be nice if she spoke English. Or at least English that we could understand. Lara thought that was funny. "Anyway, we’ll see." I said. "BSJ thinks she’s great!"

The 3rd contractor is Sandra Ng. She’s Vietnamese. She is very perky. She’s always happy and very inquisitive. Sophia told me she wanted to know why our company got into the Auto Claims business. Sandra didn’t think it fit our other businesses. Sophia told her she didn’t know. Sandra has asked me many questions. I usually tell her I don’t know. I usually do know I just want her to find another source. Her questions come fast and furious. She asks a question, and then tries to answer the question herself and then asks if she’s right. I finally told her. New rule. You don't get a second question until I answer the first.

BSJ and Sandra apparently hang out together outside of work which is how Sandra got the job. Sandra said she wasn’t even looking. She was happily retired. I guess we put an end to that. She doesn’t seem too happy anymore. She was complaining Friday because the toner needed replacing and she couldn’t find a toner cartridge. “This shouldn’t be that hard!” she told me and I saw flames shooting from her eyeballs. It’s a shame that her happiness is now ruined. I bet her house is very organized.

I talked with Sandra and Min-de right after Sophia got laid off. Sandra was asking me why they would hire 3 contractors and then lay off Sophia when it actually ends up costing them more. “That doesn’t make sense” she said. Min-de looked on like she understood and then some noises came out of her mouth. Sandra and I looked at her for a second and then looked back at each other. Then I said, ‘I know’. Sandra said she really missed her. Me too I said. Min-de made some more noises and I went back to my cubicle.
_____________________

Thanks for reading this. I hope you take the survey anyway. Please let me know also if you need any cat toys. I'll be working on the shopping cart so I can simplify the ordering process for you, but don't wait for that. I can work out arrangements through email.

Slow Tuesday

Hello,
Today nothing happened. Nothing happened at all. No one did anything stupid, except maybe the choir director who had never heard us before and then made us sing some songs we'd never sung before, which we did and created harmonies that no human being or animal had ever heard before, and he said "You guys sound great!" I thought that was stupid.

I didn't go to the post office so I didn't open my mailbox and stick my head up to the little square and say "Hi!" due to the box being totally empty.

I didn't get a response to my poll. Not one response. Nope, not a one.

So I've decided I need to start making things happen. I need marketing, obviously. I think a good pay per click campaign could drive traffic to my site. I did send an email to Ed Schultz so he could check out my post on 9/11 conspiracies. I'm sure he's very busy though.

Oh and no one has ordered any of the cat toys I'm selling. I think I'm going to create an e-commerce site for it anyway. If you build it, they will come they say.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a really good life. I'm sure you're all very busy with your jobs and stuff. I don't do my porn job on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so I just kind of stay in the house on those days.

I read today that Dick Cheney is planning on attacking the US again. Yes, again. This time he'll use nukes is the theory. Anyway here's the article. I hope you like it.
http://www.911truth.org/article.php?story=20070724182855127

Hi, welcome back. So if we want to stop him it appears we have to impeach him. To do that we'll have to get Harry (Mr. Rogers) Reid and Nancy(i've got 10 million grandkids) Pelosi to join with Dennis (I'm too ugly to be president) Kucinich. And maybe we can get Barack (I'm not Hillary) O'Bama and Hillary (I'm not black but my husband is) Clinton to join in.

But whatever.... ya know. We're all going to die someday anyway. We might as well get it over with.

I sure hope that I get some answers to my poll soon, because I'm getting hungry and my blood sugar feels low....I also think I might be hyperglycemic.

How do you stay upbeat?

I hope you're not looking here for answers to the upbeat question. How can I continue skipping along through life when I ask for so little and end up with less. It doesn't seem fair.

You see, there are 5 days left on my survey and I am nowhere near reaching 100% participation. Its a simple request. All you have to do (Anonymous), is tell me your favorite sandwich. The survey is at the top left in case you missed it.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I think God will take me if I don't get 100% response to my survey. And think of the benefits to you. You get my undivided attention to focus on your specific personality type. Unless of course my readership increases above 1. In that case you will get divided attention but hey, you could still be in the majority.

It's like this.
If another reader appears from the ethers, that would make 2. You Anonymous and the other reader. So if the other reader selects a different answer, I will have to divide my time between 2 different personality types. It could get very difficult but I will work very hard to accomplish this.

The fortunate thing is I will at the most have to divide my time between 4 distinct personality types. That is very doable, but in order to do that, my readership would have to increase to 4 loyal readers so it will be a while for that I'm sure.

So think of the benefit to you and please submit your response soon. Remember only 5 more days.

Let's have love in our hearts!

(Reminder: There are only 6 days left on my poll, so I want to get 100% participation. That means you, Anonymous!)

So on Thursday I was riding Bart. I was bored so I decided I needed someone to look at. So I started watching a tall black woman. Obtw, read my other post on the Black on black incident. It was a lifechanging experience.

Anyway, this woman seemed a little restless and I wasn't quite sure if she was homeless, on drugs, or on her way home from her executive job in San Francisco. She could go a lot of different ways I decided. She was sweating which made me think she might be on drugs, but of course the train was hot and I was sweating also.

So anyway, we get through the tunnel, some people get off and a seat opens for the pretty black woman who had been standing. She starts towards the seat and drops her sweater.

The enigma says to her "oh babe, you dropped your sweater!" and her tone was very sweet. The woman looked at her, then looked down and a white woman had picked it up and was handing it to her.

The pretty black woman thanked the white woman and ignored the enigma.

At that the enigma muttered: "What are you thanking her for? I was the one who told you!" and gave her 'the look' and then turned her head back to the front of the train.

I felt real sorry of the enigma because she had been so nice and then she gets snubbed by her own people. Very sad.

So, at this point I'm starting to think that she probably isn't an executive, but I'm still on the fence about the drugs and homelessness thing.

Then at the downtown Berkeley station, the enigma stands up. She then reaches over and taps a white woman wearing a white sweater on the shoulder.

The white woman turns around to look at her and stifles a scream. At that the enigma points to the seat and the white woman relaxes and says "No, thank you!"

At that point the enigma lost it:

"God damn fucking bitches. I'm sick of this shit. I try to be nice to you and you act all scared and shit like......don't touch me.... don't look at me... I am a decent person and all I'm trying to do is give you a seat and your more worried about my skin color rubbing off on your stinkin ass white sweater. I oughted just rub some shit on it then. How would you like that?"

The white woman didn't respond and the enigma just shook her head, perplexed. Then she offered the seat to the mexican that was standing next to the white woman.

"No thanks!" he said and the door to the train opened.

"Jesus christ, mother fucking bitches..." and more than that but the sound faded as the enigma left the train and continued towards the escalator.

It was interesting watching the whole progression. I'm wondering, had the first woman who dropped her sweater thanked the enigma for pointing it out, would she have gone off on the white woman? And, did she stifle herself because the black woman might grow fangs?

And as I drove home I found myself wondering what the enigma might have done to the next person she encountered. I should have followed her to get the full story. Sorry. If I see her again I'll ask her how the rest of her day went.

Black on black incident

First off I want to let everyone know(that means you anonymous!) that I have added a poll to my blog. Please take the poll so I can get to know all of you (you, anonymous) better. With this knowledge I'll be able to better target my blog to your specific personality type. Thanks!

It was a major event today at the Berkeley Post Office. I went to my PO box and got one of those yellow tags that says you have to wait in the long line to get your mail. It actually happens quite often because the po boxes in Berkeley are quite small.

An interesting tidbit is the Post Office is very close to where the picture of the World Famous Wind Powered Car was taken.

Anyway, the yellow card indicated I actually got something. That in itself was quite cool since I usually go there and the box is totally empty. When it's empty I can see all the way through to the work area where the letter sorters are, so I always put my face right up to the little square so they can see me and I say "Hi!". I think it helps to be nice to your post office employee.

Which apparently, no one told the tall black woman with the bad wig. There we were. I pulled tag number 84. I looked around and noticed there were many people in front of me. Great I thought. I'm parked in a 10 minute zone and about to get a ticket from 1 branch of our government because another branch of our government is soooo slooooow! That didn't seem right so I made a mental note to myself to write my congressman.

So of course I waited to hear what number they called next to see how many people were in front of me. The number was 68.. 16 people in front of me.

So after about 15 minutes it's getting close to my number. I can feel it. The excitement is building and then in walks ??? let's call her Maisha. She's the tall black woman with the bad wig I referred to earlier.

So Maisha sashays in from the street with her popcorn in hand and walks right past everyone and says to the sweet black woman behind the counter that she had passed her up and provided her number as evidence.

So have you ever seen the cartoon with Witch Hazel. You know how she's a sweet little old lady and then she will all of a sudden transform and become evil. Well the sweet black woman went through something like that. She didn't spin around or anything, but all of a sudden when she opened her mouth she had fangs. "You're going to have to pull another number!" she told her. "I want a supervisor!" was Maisha's retort as she grabbed another bite of popcorn. "I'll get you a supervisor, stand over there!".

But Maisha was not going to be told where to stand so she walked well past the designated standing point. She found some reading material on the wall. It was really the post office hours on a sign, but she read it for about 3 minutes.

Then she started back. Dadump, dadump, dadump. People were starting to huddle in the corners and move towards the wall.

"Where's the supervisor????"

"They're at lunch!"

"What is your name???"

"Mary."

And that was it. Maisha left still chewing on her popcorn and her wig still looking as bad as it did when she came in. Mary called my number next and I said. "Hi Mary, how are you today?" At that Mary's fangs retracted and she started laughing. I told her I would support her if she had any trouble and gave her my box number. And of course I had to know what number Maisha had.

Mary laughed. "It was 58."

"58???" And then we both were laughing. the number 58 was simply too funny and at that point Mary and I had bonded. She went and got my package and was still laughing when she came back. She told me to have a great day and I wished her the same. 2 souls connected. I walked out of the post office singing the song 'Ebony and Ivory' and thought of how together, Mary and I could thwart the evil Maisha's of the world.

I'll keep her around for the next time a 'Maisha' takes me to small claims court. Imagine how impressed the judge will be by a white person and black person coming together against the evils of the world. So then if the 'Maisha' exploits her children again by making them sit in the courtroom right next to her, the scales will be a little more balanced. And if her 1 year old devil child tries to stare me down again, I'll just defer to Mary as I think Mary can handle her just fine.

Thanks, don't forget to take my poll, so I can better serve you!

It's ok to buy chinese products again. Hooray!

I don't know how many people caught this but its very important. I know, you're afraid to take vitamin C because it might be from China. Or eat that Monkfish because China has been trying to trick us with its poisonous cousin the Putterfish.

And then of course we have to be sure our pet food isn't made in China. Unless we're tired of our pets and want to find a way to get rid of them without having to feel responsible and experience the shaming comments from our friends who love cats. If we just try several different brands (Purina) without bothering to read the fine print, we're bound to experience the 'disastrous' consequences of kitty deaths. And then for our suffering, we would be awarded a check from the manufacturer (Purina) to purchase some more cats.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is to say that we don't have to worry about any of that anymore. Due to the bad press China has received for all of the poison they've been sending us disguised as food, China has excecuted 'the former head of its food and drug industry for taking bribes to speed drug approvals.'

So let's get out there and buy some Monkfish. Hooray!

oh and here's the article. nope, its not from the Onion.
http://www.fool.com/investing/international/2007/07/12/china-sends-a-bad-message.aspx

Bottom? Bottom?

As I realized that my new job - creating a new porn website for a gay porn company I'm currently contracted with - also had problems, but somewhat different problems than my former fortune 100 company, it was the word 'bottom' that got me thinking about it.

Fortunately, I am only 'observing' the many problems. In other words as a porn pusher, I don't have to deal with the 'dicks and assholes' and the guys attached to them, I only have to put together a website that shows them in their best light. At my last job I was entrenched in all the politics and power games. It was constant politics. I often joked about how I was going to 'run' for this or that job.

Anyway, I digress, back to my job in porn. So when I came back from checking my car for chalk marks I noticed that reception-man was sitting on the couch downstairs.

"The bottom is late." he said. He seemed a little perturbed and kind of anxious as he said it.
"Well just walk out on the street then. There is sure to be one close by." I offered.
"We have another one standing by upstairs, just in case." he said after smiling at my incredible wit.

I wondered why they hadn't already gone with the stand in. The one that's late must be a 'super bottom' I decided. When I got upstairs I saw three guys sitting on the couch looking irritated. These must be the tops I thought. I guess they're all ready to go and no bottom to poke. Must be frustrating as hell.

Then, of course, I thought of the other connotation of bottom.

Here I am I thought. Former 'key-employee' with stock options, bonus plan, 6 figure salary, and now I'm creating porn web sites. This is where my path has lead me I thought. I was then distracted by the ringing of bells. Oh, yeah, tinkerbell, I thought. His shorts are as short and tight as hot pants and his shirts are usually covering very little. And he has boots with bells on them so every time he walks, he rings. "Or every time he walks, an angel gets his wings. " I thought and then I laughed at how funny I am.

Then the phone rang. Some excited murmurs. Yes, it was "Bottom Extraordinairre." "Mega bottom." "Bottom of the Mark!" He called to say he was just coming out of the tunnel and would be arriving in 2 minutes.

Hooray, another problem resolved and life is good again! The porn shoot would happen after all and with the star of the show...."Bottom Man".

I kind of felt sorry for the 'second string bottom' though. It seemed the only thing he'd be sitting on was the bench. Well maybe after he gets more practice he'll be a starter, leading the life of glamour that only the leading role bottoms realize.

Don't ever write about your cats.

That's what I read in an article that mentioned the 10 things not to do if you want people to read your blog.

"What do you do if you don't have a life then?" I asked no one. "What am I supposed to do? Stop writing all together?" The words rang in my empty head. You see I didn't really say them, I just thought them, otherwise they would have rang in my empty room.... empty except for 2 cats that is.

So I figure I can stop writing all together until I actually get a life, or just write for/about my cats. In other words, write for no one. So that's what I'm doing, I'm writing for no one. Sometimes I go out and eat and drink with no one also. It's actually fun. At least for me it is.

"Wait, let me check my analytics account to see how many hits I have. Be right back." (see, now I'm talking to myself!)

Ok, I'm back. On July 8th, there were 9 visitors. On the 10th and 11th there were 2 apiece. Then the 12th there was, yep, no one.

I'm pretty sure all of the visitors were me. Sometimes when I'm bored i read my own blog and laugh and laugh.

Anyway, back to my cats. Dr. Harry Smith has become possessive of a new toy. I first noticed he might be possessive about food. That was when we first got him and I let their food bowl go dry. In the morning I filled it and he took one side and Tanji (2nd) Alexander Hamilton took the other side. Once Tanji2 tried to get in, Harry moved his big head over to Tanji2's side of the bowl and proceeded to splay out on top of the whole bowl leaving only a section big enough for him to eat out of. So Tanji2 waited patiently as Harry did his best to eat the whole bowl. Finally, Harry waddled away and Tanji2 got in.

So the toy. They have those plastic wire balls with bells in them, they have a wire thing the partner made. (Partner is my partner... I'm not allowed to use real names anymore. That's just in case someone actually starts reading this thing.) They have a scratching post that Friend1 gave them. They both share them without any problem.

Then came the 'toy of all toys' apparently. The coop d grace. Both of them were fascinated by it. Harry found it first and was batting it around. Then Tanji2 came over and batted it around. They were both enthralled. They'd hit it on one end the other end would move. Harry would step on it and the end would stick straight up and he could get it in his mouth for some chewing. Tanji2 would grab the other end. Then it happened. Harry decided, this toy was his and the growling started. Tanji2 walked away and Harry took it to the other side of the room.

Tanji2 tried again and got another growl. He tried from another angle and still got the growl. He tried running at him from the other side of the room and got the raised hair, arched back, sideways stare, growl. And that was it. Harry had thrown down the gauntlet and won. Tanji2 would just have to satisfy himself with the ball with the bell in it. Or the ball with a bell in it on a stretchy string hanging from the door. Or the ball with a bell on a stretchy string hanging from the scratching post. The new toy was Dr. Harry Smith's and he would just have to live with that.
Now I know you're wondering just what this supertoy was. What amazing cat toy could cause two normally caring and sharing creatures to come to blows. Certainly this toy must be amazing for them to come to blows over it.

Well I can show you better than tell you, so here it is:

The toy to beat all toys!

So if you want to make your kitty happy let me know. I am selling these along with an instruction manual. This would make a great christmas gift for some lucky feline. Better get one for each pet though. Learn by my experience.

Just send me $25.00. Email me and I'll send you the Paypal instructions.

Butt Piss

I pissed out my butt today. I hate it when that happens. I wasn't sick that I knew of, but sometimes it just happens.

I really hate it when it happens on Bart. No I didn't piss out my butt on bart, but that was when I realized there might be a problem. Thank god I had a seat.

Its really hard to hold it in. The sphincter isn't really very good at holding back liquid. Its great at holding back the big logs but when your system is working overtime and creates that chocolate milkshake stuff, holding it in is a real challenge. Don't even think of farting.

So I had a painful ride on bart and then high-tailed it (bad pun I know) to the office. (oh, yeah.... my new job, more on that later...) I climbed the stairs to the 3rd floor and walked nonchalantly to my desk. This was the hard part. I wanted to be sure no one knew that I was holding in butt piss. I had to act like everything was normal. So I sat down at my desk, put my pack down, made sure my cell phone was off, and pressed the start button on my computer, just as I've always done. Once it got to the login screen I would be able to type in the login and then head to bathroom to open the floodgates. But a snag in the plan. Boss person, got up from his desk and went ahead of me. Yep, only one person at a time in our 12 man office.

So I had to wait. As I waited I prayed no one would come by and say something that would make me laugh. I just sat there pinching my sphincter as hard as I could and fortunately, no one came by.

He came out and I made the somewhat odd but nonchalant walk to the bathroom. Once inside the first door I ran and dropped them and made every drop. It was like a firehose and very satisfying. I checked and nothing on my undies. Hooray. Friday, 13 turned out to be ok.

George Bush steps down

George Bush has left the White House and gone fishing. "...and when I'm done fishing, I'm going to the ranch to clear brush." He was quoted as saying.

In this surprising turn of events, several washington leaders are baffled. "Can he do that? Just up and leave?" asked Nancy Pelosi of apparently no one.

"This is an outrage" screamed Harry Reid. "This man was elect... or appointed.. or whatever you call it when someone who didn't get elected actually ends up serving. This is just another in a long line of events that points to the incompetence of this administration! The American people deserve better than this and we will investigate this action and take all necessary steps to bring about justice for the American people. If he thinks he can just walk off the job, now, he's delusional in the least."

Alberto Gonzales weighed in on the constitutionality of the action. "To my knowledge, there has never been a sitting president who left office in this way. There is no legal precedent for this, and I don't believe the constitution addresses this, but I'll have to review that and get back to you."

Democrats returned early from their vacations to draft a resolution requiring George Bush to return to office, immediately. This will be moved up on the agenda so as to precede the vote to consider impeachment brought by Dennis Kucinich.

"This is just one more example of his shirking of his responsibility", declared Kucinich. "The American people won't stand for it. He's left the country in a shambles and he needs to be held accountable."

Asked if he thought this meant the end of the impeachment hearings Dennis replied: "No, not at all. Constitutionally, he is still the president until we vote to impeach him. The first step for us is to demand he return!"

We tried to reach the president and we got his voicemail where we encountered this message:

"Hello, this is George W. Bush and thanks for calling. I am currently unavailable and will be for some time. I want to thank everyone for your support during these 6 years. Together we've accomplished great things. With things running smoothly now, I've realized my job here is finished. The country is doing great, the economy is purring along, the troops are doing a great job in Iraq and Afghanistan, the world is a much better place and I have done my job." "I always say, the time to step down is when you've won the championship, so with that I'm going fishing."

9/11 and the conspiracies

Ok. Let's talk. I am sick to death of normally intelligent people that believe that people who question the Bush administration supported 'Conspiracy Theory' that 19 arab men who had never flown planes before rammed them into the twin towers and that's what caused them to fall.

People laugh at me because I think that that 'Conspiracy Theory' is a lot more ridiculous than the theory you will find revealed to you by reviewing the information on 911truth.org and watching the movie 911 Mysteries.

Here's some facts that these 'intelligent' believers of Bush's propaganda are always surprised to hear when they allow themselves to listen long enough.

1) Did you know that no steel buildings in history have fallen due to fire?

2) Did you know that along with the twin towers, World Trade Center 7 fell? This was a 42 story steel office building that housed the records of the Securities and Exchange commission. This building the last of the 3 WTC buildings to fall. The 9/11 Commission report didn't even attempt to explain that one because there was no explanation. This building wasn't hit by a plane, it was relatively unscathed compared to several other buildings in the area that did not fall, but were torn down, yet it fell due to fire according to the administration.

3) Did you know that two news stations broadcast that WTC7 had fallen 20 minutes prior to it actually happening? Not kidding. The reporters were filmed giving the report live, while over their shoulders you could clearly see the building still standing. 20 minutes later, WTC7 fell. Do you believe they were psychic or do you think someone had foreknowledge of the event?
Check it out for your self: Film of reporters discussing WTC7 collapse prior to it happening.

4) Do you remember the coverage that day? How many times did you hear the newscaster mention 'another explosion' prior to the buildings falling? Watch 9/11 Mysteries if you need a reminder.

5) Did you know there are several eyewitnesses, people that were actually in the building, trying to get people like you to listen to what they saw and heard that day? Why are they trying? These people that were there believe the explosions were part of 3 controlled demolitions.

6) What do you believe the chances are of any building, let alone 3 buildings, that are falling due to melting steel, falling straight down?

7) Did you know that the buildings fell in around 10 seconds? That is the amount of time it would take an unhindered soft ball to reach the ground if dropped from the top of the towers. Do you believe that a pancake collapse can fall in the same amount of time as an unhindered object?

8) Did you know that Larry Silverstein purchased the twin towers in July of 2001, 7 weeks prior to 9/11, insured them against terrorist attacks and was awarded an insurance settlement of 5 billion?

9) Did you know that the World Trade Center was losing money and had been for some time prior to Larry Silverstein purchasing it? Do you think Larry Silverstein, a billionaire who made his money by making sound real estate investment decisions, would purchase a losing proposition?


Most people don't know any of these things. They dismiss people such as myself as conspiracy nuts and then stop listening. I was one of the people dismissing these claims until one day I saw Bill O'Reilly telling a man working for 911 truth that he must 'hate his country.' I figured if this guy could piss off Bill O'Reilly I should check out his story. So I watched 911 Mysteries and I was outraged. The 1st 15 minutes I thought they hadn't made any claims that couldn't easily be disputed. Then they mentioned how long it would take for the buildings to fall compared to a softball and my jaw dropped. The buildings fell in appx 11 to 12 seconds. They fell straight down, there were many explosions, eyewitnesses don't believe the government story......

Is it time for the revolution yet?

911 Mysteries Video Online

Here's a link to an excellent resource on the 9/11 attacks.

Sicko

I went and saw Sicko. A friend asked me if it was good. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I mean if I'd found it entertaining then, yes, I would certainly say it was 'good'. But I wouldn't call it that. In fact I really found it disturbing. Even the parts meant for comic relief I had a hard time laughing at.

It was a great hit piece. It really showed our system for what it is and pointed out the problems. It is truly disgusting. Even the people helping to implement the system are disgusted by it. Those that have a conscience that is.

It seems that we've been had. The drumbeat about how our medical system is so much more superior to 'Socialized Medicine' is the propaganda machine of the insurance and pharmaceutical companies. Michael Moore did a good job of pulling it together. Go see it and let everyone know what you think.

Is it time for the revolution yet? Oh, that's right, we can't because we aren't able to get the time off of work.