Like a ticking timebomb

As the clock on the wall ticks, I'm wondering and waiting for Cheney to do his next strike on America. He's supposed to use nukes this time. He's building them in his basement. That's why he had Google remove his house from Google maps.

So as I'm perusing the internet look for some information from people that actually do investigate things, unlike your wonderful media, I came across something disturbing but hardly believable.

Cheney is going to nuke Portland, OR. Ok, that's not what the article said but if it happens you heard it here first.

So any reasonable person would hear that the terrorists certainly wouldn't strike Portland, OR, mainly because they wouldn't know how to find it but then the second question becomes why? Hatred of lesbians? Doesn't seem logical.

But, Cheney on the other hand may have had a spat with his daughter and therefore, in his twisted little paranoid mind, decided that his daughter had become evil and it was lesbianism that turned her that way. Therefore, by destroying the largest city in the main lesbian power source, the state of Oregon, Mary will magically wake up and be straight and hate all gays, the way it's supposed to be. I know it seems twisted but hey, that's our Dick!

So of course even though he's paranoid and twisted he is also an evil genius of sorts. He will most definitely find a way to use this tragedy to further his Dr. Evil agenda to take over the world, starting with all of the best oil places.

So, some good stock plays here would be energy companies. Oil of course should be at the top of your list. According to Cheney, he's planning on attacking sometime this summer:
Nukes for Bush

According to this article, it will be before this weekend so get the money down now.
Let's Nuke Portland